Everything happens for a reason: a phrase used to console, to explain, to decipher the truly unexplainable. When you say it, when you hear it in any of these situations do you truly believe it? Often when we console someone we are doing everything in our power to help them “feel better” yet we are not helping them to see, to accept the value in what has happened to them. In saying “everything happens for a reason” in one of these situations we are not truly helping them to see the value but rather assuring them that there is value- is this enough? When someone says this to me in the heat of the moment, when they find me hurting, or questioning something in my life, I become somewhat angry. It is almost ridiculous that I would become so aggravated at a phrase I live by day by day yet it brings me to a point in realizing that there is a time and place for everything. Everything that happens in your life, in others’ lives, and the words that are exchanged are all a complicated system, perfectly balanced and so easily upset. Nothing is a coincidence, there is never an action that is out of place, a word that should not have been said because they all build our lives, teach us, break us, create strength- they make us who we are. In the heat of the moment you may question everything you’ve ever done, every word you’ve said, thought you’ve had- searching for any reason that this “thing” whatever it may be, happened to you. You will not find an answer. If you try to reason at your most unreasonable time, when you are emotional, then you will get no where. You will continue to think that you’ve done something wrong, or that you deserved whatever may have happened, or that life hates you- the list goes on. But if you step back from the issue, this is when you see, believe, understand that everything happens for a reason. Even at this time you may not see a specific, distinct answer, but knowing is often enough. I was taught again today that certain things take time, for example, you cannot begin a new faith one day and immediately understand everything there is to know about it the next, you cannot expect to feel truly connected until you nurture the relationship-nurturing take time. In situations like these and many others, you look back on the rough, confusing, frustrating times you’ve had and realize that it is because of them that you are where you stand today. So in a time of stress, which I know a lot of people are experiencing at this point with work, school, holidays, families, friends, relationships, and anything else life has to throw at you- just remember to step back. It's not important necessarily to know why something is happening but rather to know that it is happening for a reason. Make your less than favorable situation into one that makes you into a person you are proud of, use it to teach, use it to aid others when they don’t understand. You have a lot of power in misfortune, it's how you use it that makes a world of difference.
~A Duck Inspired