Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Seeing into the Future

Over the past semester I have caught myself thinking, more than once, "I wish I could have seen if this was worth it" when things haven't gone my way with either people or things in my life. For classes I think this after I get a bad grade on a test, "well I wish I would've studied more" or "I could've studied less , this test is nothing". I blame my inability to see the future, or the difficulty of the test rather than own up to the fact that I should've studied more or in a different way. In reality, I should just be owning up to my own mistake, learning from it, and moving on. With other people, I wish that I could see if they were actually as invested as I am in a friendship or a relationship, to see if I should put in the same amount of effort or if I should just leave. But this isn't me either- why should I base how much I care on how much others care? I'm not saying that someone who does not appreciate you should deserve all your attention, but if you happen to care about that person- why hold back? Life isn't meant to be lived in moderation- feel with your entire heart, learn with your entire being, and be open completely to new experiences. If something is new to you, let it scare you-but don't let it stop you. Don't let your fear of not knowing what to do, where to go, or how to act stop you from something that could be wonderful. Let others teach you, take a leap of faith once in a while, something new is not the end-all be-all of your life. A relationship, for example, is terrifying for a lot of people- it is new, it is foreign, it is awkward-but could it be worth it? One may argue "I am happy with what I'm doing now, why would I try something new if what I'm doing is working just fine? " Valid point, but a point I've heard way too many times in the past year. Just because you are happy now, does not mean you need to block yourself off from all other aspects of life- this is simply an excuse for your fear. Stop using it. New experiences does not mean giving up the life that you lead now. Though a relationship is compromise, it is not necessarily change - just because you are in a relationship does not mean that the two of you have become one person-no! You are your own person who makes your own decisions, and if you were an extension of someone else it would not be healthy. Your partner does not have to always agree with you or your decisions, they don't have to be attached at the hip- they simply have to be supportive and respectful. Respect and support is important in any relationship, romantic, familial- anything. Respecting the fact that people are responsible for their own decisions and actions is important so that it does not become a controlling relationship, and support is important because life sometimes gets the best of us. When it does, having friends/family/a partner that will support you is of the utmost importance. Does this mean that we expect you to baby us or pity us? No. Listening is the best support, when one refuses to listen - whether it is a subject that pertains to them or not, its a slap in the face. It doesn't take much to listen, but it means the world when you do.
Another thing that I will preach until the day I die is- communication. Nothing is more important to the success of any situation or type of relationship than communication. In a work setting there are meetings to discuss progress, task assignments etc. - if we didn't have these meetings, no one would know the status of the company or who should be doing what, and this would probably end in the failure of the company. In a roommate situation, if you are bothered by something and you don't tell them or bring it up, you will never find a solution because the roommate will never see an issue. If you constantly let things build, they're eventually going to blow up in your face (hint hint to those of you who are going to college next year, be a good roommate!). In a team setting, like volley ball for example, you see players yell things during the game like "mine" or "got it" or maybe even call out another player's name. This form of communication helps prevents players bumping into each other, makes sure that the ball isn't missed, and ultimately increases potential of success for the team. So please, if there is anything I want all of you readers to take away from this entire blog it is this-make a genuine effort to communicate with the people in your life. Don't run from them- its going to be uncomfortable in some situations, its going to be new, and you probably are not going to be very good at it at first- but please start trying now, for your sake, for their sake, for the sake of humanity! Communicating is a guaranteed way to show someone that you care, that "you in this", that you are at least trying to make an effort. I learned from so many people and experiences that "communication is key" and one of my life missions is to help people see the truth in that.
So before you wish you could see into the future, remember that you have a role in determining your own future.
Communicate often, keep an open mind, and take responsibility (just remember that life isn't always about responsible decisions, its okay to be a little irresponsible once in a while ).
Lots of love, and much appreciation to all you wonderful readers!
~A Duck Inspired