Sunday, July 17, 2016

Making Everyone Happy

Lately I've found myself in a pretty common trap, one that seems to snare me whether I am back in Boston, at school, or just about anywhere- believing I can make everyone happy. At this point I am pretty aware it's impossible. Of course I grew up listening to people to me tell me that, but it's one of those hot stove concepts, you're never going to believe the stove top is hot until it burns you that one time... Or in this case, several. Events are going to conflict, commitments don't simply go away, and schedules will continue on- ready or not, here life comes. So how will you be there for everyone? Split yourself in half? Clones? 
Truth is, even if you do find a way to physically be there for every event, commitment, shift-you really aren't all there. By being in so many places at once, you can't mentally give everything you have. You may have made it to the shift at work, but the whole time you're thinking about what you have to get done for the next commitment you have, or how you rather be with your significant other, or be home for dinner your family. Is it worth it for anyone that you stretch yourself so thin? Not to mention, giving a piece of yourself to everyone is some pretty risky business, who knows what condition they'll return you in! It's like checking a book out in the library, the family with three kids under the age of five had good intentions when they checked out those picture books, buts it's pretty inevitable that the books are not going to return in the same condition they left in. Lucky for the books, they have librarians to keep track of and take care of them! But who do you have to take care of you? When a piece of you comes back worn out... Who you going to call (ghostbusters!)? Yourself! The only person who can truly take care of you is YOU. Of course life is made easier by having wonderful people around you, and I have been lucky enough to have such a strong support system behind me in nearly everything I do. I couldn't be more grateful for the people that have surrounded me over the course of my life, but even they cannot know for sure exactly what I need! So it's important to take some time out of your day/ life pleasing everyone else, and do something for yourself for once. Stop believing that doing what is right for you once in a while is selfish, it's necessary. As mentioned before in previous posts, it's the same concept as putting on your oxygen mask first in an airplane, if you run out of oxygen while trying to help someone else first-you're not going to be much of a help to anyone. You can't truly be there for everyone, if you have nothing left to give. Every rubber band breaks eventually, and it's only a matter of time before you stretch just a little too far. That being said, helping people to the best of your ability is a wonderful thing. But prioritizing and recognizing what is important in others lives, is of the utmost importance to pull it off. For example, taking a shift at work last minute when you've had plans for a week with someone you care about? Not the best plan if you can help it. While it's nice to pick up some extra money, you can't really put a price on time with people you care about, and the value of keeping your word. The disappointment on both ends really is pretty heartbreaking, and you're left with a situation that is undesirable to say the least... Not something you want to be thinking about on shift. It's better to be honest with yourself and others, than to to make a commitment you can't keep. So next time you try to justify your "solution" to being everywhere for everyone, ask yourself if you're actually where your feet are. If not? Might be time to evaluate the situation! So, give yourself some credit, even if no one else does, love yourself- and continue to "care too much", just don't let that band break. 
~A Duck Learned

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